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Hello everyone! I need some advice. As you probably know we are currently pregnant via surrogacy. We are 12 weeks pregnant. We didn't tell anyone about our surrogacy journey. Only my DH and my mom know. We want to make an announcement to rest of our family and friends in a couple of weeks. The thing is I don't know what to tell... I don't feel like I want to tell that we are using services of surrogate mother. I really want to tell that this is me! I am pregnant! So I’m thinking about a fake belly… My DH told "Up to you!"

I know it may seem dumb to you. But this situation is so hard for me... I've been always dreaming to carry a baby, to have my belly growing, to be beautiful pregnant woman, to show everyone that I can carry a baby and I can give birth! I had 3 MCs and not only losses hurt but also those looks I receive from family and friends... You know, looks which are full of pity and sorrow as if I'm not a fully woman. This is the reason why I want to show them that I am happy! I am pregnant and I can carry my own baby! Even if this is not true... I'm afraid that sooner or later my secret will be revealed and the situation(and their looks) will be even worse... I have to decide now which scenario to choose, to tell the truth or to pretend pregnancy. What do you think? What should I take into consideration if I choose the second option? I will be really glad to hear your opinions! Maybe someone here faced the same problem.
Are you planning on lying to the child also on how it was brought into this world? Cause if the whole community thinks this child was brought into the world naturally, then I would think you would have to continue this lie with your baby for the rest of your lives. Me personally, I would not be comfortable with this. Surrogacy is such a beautiful thing and shouldn't be hidden. You should be proud that you found a woman who is ready to carry your baby. And what happens when your child finds out? By hiding it, it seems a "dirty little secret" and no one should be made to feel that way. You'll also have to fake pregnancy symptoms. What if someone will touch your stomach? People do this, when you're pregnant. Sometimes even without your permission. What if someone finds out? I remember an episode from "Desperate housewives", when Bree was faking her pregnancy and someone found her fake bellies in the closet during baby shower. What if something like this will happen to you? I think this is not a good idea. Of course it's up to you, but you should think about it twice before starting such lie.
I agree with the comment above. The idea of having a fake belly seems really bad to me. You should think once again do you really need to fake your pregnancy? I can't see anything bad with surrogacy. Who cares what other people will think? The most important is you will have your baby you're dreaming about for so long time. I understand this is sad for you to except that someone else is carrying your baby. But you will be the one who will raise your child! This whole lie will only make your life complicated. You will have to fake it not only for a couple of months until the delivery. You will have to fake it for your whole life! Moreover you will have to lie to your baby. This is really bad thing to do. What if someone finds out about your lie? You will be embarrassed and you won't ever forget it. I think you should forget about other people opinions. You should forget about everything which makes you sad and unconfident. Just relax and enjoy your journey! You should enjoy each moment of it and to be proud and grateful you have such a great opportunity to have your own baby.
Girls thank you so much for all your responses! I appreciate your advices. Now I can see that it was not a good idea to lie about my pregnancy. There are so many facts and symptoms which I won't be able to pretend. You shed a light on this issue. Now I see this idea was really stupid. It will be so embarrassing and sad if people know the truth. Also I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings lying to them. The most important is we'll have our baby very soon! This is the only thing I should care about. I told my DH that we won't hide the fact that we're having a surrogate. He thinks this is the best decision. Also we're going to tell our child about surrogacy. I think our baby deserves to know the truth. There is nothing bad in this procedure, am I right? We have nothing to be ashamed of. I should be proud and happy instead of hiding and lying about our pregnancy. I'm happy I can talk about such stuff with you here. Thank you so much for support!
You did right, honey. Trying to hide the truth is not always helpful. Furthermore, you may be as open about opting for surrogacy as YOU both want. I really regret now people around know so much about our issues and coming ivf. I did think I was doing right sharing my concerns with them, I was looking for support and understanding but that just played a bad trick on me. I wouldn't want this to happen to you. So will advise you to be careful with what you're telling people, though even the closest ones. Unfortunately sometimes this doesn't change situation for better..
Take care, sending you huge supportive hugs x Keep us updated!
You did absolutely right. You couldn't have hidden the truth for a long time. Furthermore, you may be as open about opting for surrogacy as YOU both want. I really regret now people around know so much about our issues and coming ivf. You should forget about everything which makes you sad and unconfident. Just relax and enjoy your journey! You should enjoy each moment of it and to be proud and grateful you have such a great opportunity to have your own baby.
Take care. Much support to you.Keep us updated!
I joined this forum long ago.I like to read the stories of different people.Its been a very long time.I feel happy after reading successful stories of different people.
I'm also infertile.But i had to go for surrogacy.We firstly moved to Europe form Japan.Surrogacy is ban in Japan so we moved there.We stayed in Europe for 4 months.We contacted clinics in Europe.My husband didn't liked them.Than we moved to Ukraine.As we heard alot about the clinics in Ukraine so we moved there.There we found a very good clinic.The clinic found a good surrogate for us.The surrogate is pregnant with our twin dolls.We are so happy.We are so happy that we will have our own kids now,We are so thankful to the clinic and surrogate.
Everyone cheers and good luck.
I can totally understand the situation you're going through. I can see why you're so reluctant in doing it after your miscarriages. However, I would suggest you go for it anyway. Otherwise, you're gonna regret it later on in life. Do you want that? Trust me you don't. So keep the faith, and go for it! Good luck!
Hi. How are you? Hope you are doing well. I am glad to know that you took a step of surrogacy. Telling the people about the fake surrogacy is not a good thing. You need not worry about the what will people say. It is just like a natural thing. Nowadays surrogacy is a common thing. You have to spend your life with your husband and your baby so do not think about the others. You got a golden chance of having a baby. So do not be shy. Admit it and tell the people truth. You are a brave lady as you took the step of surrogacy. The same condition was with my friend but she faced them all. It is not a crime or not an odd thing. My all best wishes for your new life. Be blessed

Hey. Hope you are doing well. It pleases me to know that you are going for surrogacy, however, hiding it would do you no good. surrogacy is beautiful and lying about it now means that you will have to lie about it to your child and it might seem ok right now but once you have him/her things would be a lot different.
Telling the people about the fake surrogacy or using a fake belly is not a good thing. You should not be worried about what people have to say and do what suits you best. Nowadays surrogacy is a common thing. You have to spend your life with your husband and your baby so do not think about the others.
Hey there. How are you doing? I hope you are doing great. I am really sorry to hear about your condition. I know it must be hard for you. I know I have been through it. But lying is never an option believe me. You would regret it later. Be strong and accept the truth. There is nothing wrong with it. Its all okay. I hope you get what you want. I wish you good luck. Take care. Hoping to hear more soon.
Hi everyone. First of all I am sorry for your miscarriages. It is really a painful time which you were going through. But you had to do something for you and your family. No matters what everyone else will say you had took this step for your sake. So why to panic about everyone else. It was all by nature. There is none of your fault in this. I am happy for you that you went for surrogacy. As far as the rest of family members are concerned I think that you must tell them the truth. Because as the previous respected members said that if you tell them a lie then you will also have to tell a lie to your child. When one day your child gets to know about truth then he will have a really bad impression of yours on him. So I suggest that you should go with the truth. It will not only have a good impression on your child nut it will also save you from future disgraces. SO my suggestion or advise is that you must go and tell them the truth. Faking a child bump won't make things easier, but it will make them worse. So my dear I hope that you got my point. Wishing you best of luck for your near future.
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