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long ttc, no baby( Rss

Hi everyone! I’ve been reading this forum for quite a long time and finally decided to join. Today I feel really emotional… I need to share bc no one around understands my frustration.

Well, stupid periods showed up yesterday... I am soo depressed right now it's not even funny. I'm trying not to let it bring me down but WHY isn't it happening.

It seems everybody around me is pregnant. A LOT of them don't really seem like they want or deserve it. A friend of mine is married to the worst player ever. They have a 16 month old daughter and she just got pregnant last month with their 2nd child. I work at a beauty salon and many of my clients are fairly young.. (approx.18 - 21 years old) and in the past few months 6 of them have said to me that they are pregnant!! No steady boyfriend or nothing… Now I'm thinking why the hell am I not getting pregnant?? We have a good loving family. This baby would be loved more than anything... I don't understand.

I know it's my fault. I'm ashamed to admit this and I'm crying soo hard while I'm writing this...I had 3 abortions when I was younger. I was going out with a guy for 6 years (from 15 to 21) and it was an abusive relationship. I got pregnant 3 times...3 times!! Can you believe this!!??! I know it may have been the right decision given my situation at the time. But I just know I'm being punished right now. I was soo wrong to do that. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm sorry I know a lot of you out there are against abortions. I just had to talk about it, nobody knows except my dh.

Now I’m married. I have loving husband, he is the best. We’ve been trying to conceive for almost 3 years and nothing. I blame myself and feel like it killing me.
I’ve just read your post and you are not being punished! At the end of the day you feel guilt over something you did when you were young. At that time it was clearly the right thing to do. No one can ever tell you what you did back then was wrong or right but you have to stop punishing yourself.
I myself had lots of trouble conceiving and it took me and my husband many years to become pregnant(via surrogacy). We now have two wonderful kids.

Again I blamed myself because of each and every reason. I blamed myself as we struggled to get pregnant. I know you’ll think oh it’s not the same as you but that’s what we do we blame ourselves for things we believe is right at the time.

In all honesty I think that we as women put so much pressure on ourselves to fall pregnant. We become so uptight about it that’s what causes us to not. When I stopped worrying and stressing, we found solution and option which gave us our children.

Don’t blame yourself for something you did as a child/young adult. Maybe it’s completely psychological and that you believe you’re not good enough or deserve to be a Mum now because of past choices, which I might add isn’t true.

I know it can feel a lonely horrible place that you’re in right now because I went through the exact same. When I was trying all I saw was pregnant women and judged each and every one thinking why them and not me! Unfortunately that’s human nature but please try not to blame yourself and rid yourself of this past guilt and you never know you may well be blessed with having a baby soon.

Please stay positive and try to relax. If you ever want a chat feel free to pm me because I can relate in a way to what you’re going through. Trust me there is always a silver lining. Keep your chin up love xx
I didn’t even expect to see so many replies! I feel much better now! Thanks for all the support. I needed it so much. No one around understands. My DH is very supportive, but… You know, only women who goes through same pain can understand. We haven't done any medical check. I know it’s wrong. We had to see Dr. 2 years ago. But we didn’t… My DH has a son from previous marriage. He doesn’t tell me straight but he thinks everything is ok with his fertility. I believe it’s obvious as he has a child. So the problem is in me. I’m the reason we can’t conceive. And it scares me to death… I’m scared to hear a verdict that I’m infertile and we won’t be able to have children. That’s why I’m constantly thinking about my abortions.
I am really sorry to know about your situation. You must have had a tough time. Don’t lose hope, sweetheart. Life has put you in a test. Try to pass the exam with good marks. Have firm faith in God. I have had surrogacy too. I had lost all my hopes when I could not conceive naturally. I am a victim of PCOS. I have consulted my doctors in Ukraine. They suggested me for surrogacy. I am so happy to have my own baby. It was a wonderful experience. Surrogacy is truly a blessing in disguise. You must give it a try to. All the very best to you. stay safe.
Hi sweetie, hope you are doing fine. Please don't feel so bad about all this. No doubt this is a tough phase but everything passes. the good and the bad. I can totally understand you. I had gone through this situation 3 years ago. I was so depressed about that. I had almost thought of forgetting the idea of having a child. it was my husband who supported me and held my hopes high. I am blessed with a baby boy now. I wish that you become a mother soon. good luck!
Hi Martha! How are you? Hope you are in good health. Don’t be so frustrated. You have to keep calm and keep on facing what life throws at you. I can understand you regret. Infertility is a very heavy burden to bear and 3 years is a lot of time for TTC. I am sorry you had to go through this but there is still hope. I am recommending you this because it is something that I have also experienced and my recommendation to you is that you should go for surrogacy. I am also infertile and went for it. I am happy to tell you that I am now a mother of a baby girl. Everyone deserves to be a parent and we should be open to try alternative methods for that. I went to Ukraine for my surrogacy and recommend you do the same. All the best to you.
Hi. This brought tears to my eyes too. Virtual hugs for you. I feel really sorry for you. Don't get upset. Why are you blaming yourself? You don't have any fault in this. This is life. Three years is not a much time. Wait for the right time. You are lucky. You have a supportive husband. He loves you so much. Did you go to the doctor? What did he say? If not, to be on the safe side, have a check-up. I hope everything is going to be positive.
I hope things are good at your end. This is heartbreaking. Abortions are always hard. You must have thought wisely about them. Don't regret your decisions now. What has happened has happened. You can't bring those moments back. TTC for no long with no luck is tough. Don't get worried. Jealousy is common in such circumstances. I pray that everything goes well at your side. Why don't you try for surrogacy? It has a very good success rate. This way you can have your own biological child. Sending my prayers and wishes for you.
This is so terrible. I can't even imagine how someone can survive in such a situation. You're strong that you admitted and shared everything here. These forums are made to help you after all. What you did to yourself was very wrong. I agree with that completely. But since you admit it, there's no use to scold you on that. I hope people can get a lesson from your experience. Everyone needs to stop considering abortions a joke. It's not a joke at all. The outcomes of such things are not good at all. For now, you should consult your doctor. Share your problems with her. I am hopeful that she'll tell you the right thing to do. Stay strong.
hi, hope so you are doing great. Don't take the stress. Don't overthink. All will be fine. Stay positive and happy. I think you should go for a checkup. hi, Don't take the stress. Don't overthink. All will be fine. Stay positive and happy. I think you should go for a checkup. Nowadays infertility is not a big problem. Surrogacy is indeed the best method. IVF is also a good process where children would be genetically linked with you. In Europe, there are best clinics. Which are not so expensive and provide you with a great environment. All the best. Stay happy. Better things will come soon. Think positive all will be fine sweetheart. My best wishes are with you. All the very best.
Hey, honey. Hope you're alright. This is a really bad situation. Please don't stress out. That's really the worst thing that you can do. Trust me, stress never helps. I know, I've gone through it. I can relate to your story. I've had multiple MCs, too. So I can see how you feel. My suggestion would be to try and not think about all this. Remember, there are other alternatives. So, look at those alternatives. Don't lose hope. You can do this!
Hey dear. Hope you are fine now. While reading your post I can clearly see you are very depressed. Whatever you have done in past was right at that time. Regret can't do anything now. Stop hurting yourself. It won't do anything well. You will just feel bad. So stay calm. Move on. Stop blaming yourself. Whatever gone will never come back. Stay hopeful. There are many others who are suffering from infertility. Who didn't even had an abortion? So sometimes it happens for no reason. So be positive. Good luck.
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